5 Ways To Protect Yourself This Holiday Season

The holidays are bittersweet for many people, including those who are trying to conceive. This season can be a painful reminder of what hasn’t yet happened, what never was or what no longer is. While it appears that the rest of the world is celebrating and filled with joy, infertility around this time can bring a renewed sense of isolation, loneliness, longing and grief. 

This holiday season, I want you to know that I empathize with you and you are not alone. While no suggestion, list or insight is going to take away the pain, I want to share a few ideas to help you protect yourself and enjoy the holidays on your fertility journey:

1. Find Your Community

Especially during the holidays, your friends and family mean well but their attempts to make you feel better can leave you feeling more alone. Find a local or online support community and connect with friends who have been where you are or are walking alongside you on this journey.

2. Communicate With Loved Ones

Tell people close to you that this season might be hard for you, voice what you need and ask for help. Reach out to a friend who has also been struggling, that can truly understand how this season makes you feel. If you are concerned about answering questions about having a family, create a plan with your partner before each gathering to decide what you are willing to share. 

3. Pamper Yourself

Make time for self-care and get plenty of rest. Even though the holidays are busy, do something every day to protect your mental, emotional and physical health. Make some fun plans for the holidays that don’t revolve around other people - this can be anything that brings you joy and will make you feel loved. Listen to your body, honor your needs and never feel guilty for embracing time for self-care.

4. Acknowledge Your Feelings

Recognize that your feelings are valid and normal. You have every right to feel whatever emotion that comes up - anger, sadness, resentment, jealousy, fear, pain - it’s okay! If it helps, journal or talk to a close friend.

5. Set Boundaries

Pick and choose which events mean the most to you and skip out on parties if you’re not feeling up to it. Be mindful of how social media makes you feel and what emotions it brings up, and take a break if you need to. Give yourself permission to say no to what doesn’t feel good for you. You have every right to choose how to cope with this season in a way that feels healthy and less painful for you. Whether you decide to spend time celebrating with family or schedule a day alone at the spa, do whatever you need to do to feel comfortable and less stressed.

Treat yourself with the same kindness as you would give a friend. Be extra gentle with yourself and remember that this is your journey, you get to choose how you feel and what you need. However you choose to spend your time this season, please remember, you are not alone. Sending you so much love and support!